As part of applying for my 10-year card, I took the TCF pour la carte de résident in June. This is a slightly easier test than the one for French citizenship, which requires a B1 level of competence. The TCF Carte de Résident requires an A2 level of French language.

HOW TO REGISTER

I went to ILE International in Paris, but here is the list of all the schools in every country that administer this test.

You should register as early as you can. At the very least, take the test a month before your appointment to be safe to get your results in time. The dates do fill up so don’t wait! Also consider that if you need to retake the test, you have to wait a month before you can do so.

WHAT TO BRING

To take the test I needed:

• My convocation (the email proving I registered), printed.
• La convention signée — a document attached to my registration email that lays out the rules of the test. You must print and sign.
• A valid ID (carte de résident or passport. NOTE: Driver’s licenses are NOT accepted.)
• An envelope “Lettre suivie” (préaffranchie). You get this at La Poste. It needs to be “format A4” and you need to fill out your address in advance. This is what they send you your results in.

WHAT’S IN THE TEST?

The TCF pour la carte de résident test is comprised of four sections. At most centers, the first three parts are completed at a computer with headphones. Once you start the test, you will get an introduction/example of each section and how it works before each portion starts. You click a button to begin each section, so you can take a breather between each one if you need.

PART 1: Oral comprehension – 15 minutes
20 multiple choice questions. I found this to be the most difficult section. You listen to a snippet of a conversation or report and then choose an answer to a question about what was in it. Sometimes the answer choices are spoken, and sometimes they are in text. You only get to listen once, and it is timed with what felt like about 15 seconds to make a choice. This seemed quick to me and the questions get progressively harder. EXAMPLE QUESTIONS

PART 2: Written comprehension – 20 minutes
20 multiple choice questions. You’ll be presented with various notices, letters, flyers, etc., to read and then answer questions about the content. You have 20 minutes total to answer, and can toggle or skip between questions. EXAMPLE QUESTIONS

PART 3: Written expression – 30 minutes
Respond to three emails or letters with approximately 50-word responses. You have 30 minutes to complete this section, which felt like more than enough time to me, and you can switch between the three responses as you wish. EXAMPLE QUESTIONS

This is the end of the computer-administrated portion. After completing it, I was shown my expected level (A1, A2, B1, etc.) for the first two, multiple-choice sections. However, the written portion has to be checked by a human so you don’t get a grade for that yet.

PART 4: Oral exam – 10 minutes
This portion is done with a teacher/administrator. It is tape recorded and will be graded by both the person you take it with, and another person. During my oral test, there were three parts:

• 3 minutes of introducing/talking about yourself.
• 3:30 minutes of playing out a scenario with the administrator. In mine, I was looking to buy a pet and she worked at a pet store.
• 3:30 minutes of talking about something you like to do. In my case the prompt was the type of shops I like to go to and why.
• EXAMPLE QUESTIONS

Plan to spend two to three hours at the testing center including check in, instructions and wait times. You can expect your results in ten days to three weeks (mine arrived in that window) and the document is valid for two years.

HOW TO PREPARE

Below are a few resources you can use to prepare and practice for the TCF Résident. Note that many centers also include preparation documents or lessons in the price of the test.

• TV 5 Monde lessons: https://apprendre.tv5monde.com/fr/tcf
• RFI lessons (more difficult questions): https://savoirs.rfi.fr/fr/apprendre-enseigner/langue-francaise/tcf-test-de-connaissance-du-francais
• CIEP.fr materials: https://www.ciep.fr/sites/default/files/atoms/files/focus_ressources-preparation-tcf.pdf

Have you taken the TCF Carte de Résident test? What was your experience like? Leave a comment and share!

Palace hotel rooms filled with flowers. Breakfast on a balcony overlooking the Eiffel Tower. Vespa rides through cobblestone streets. An endless stream of Paris Fashion Week parties. Ahhh, isn’t life in Paris a fairy tale?
Sure, if you’re one of the 0.01% of residents who actually get to live this type of life.

On the surface, “Instagram Paris” is offering you visions of cafés and fashion and romance, but you’re really being sold the prospect of happiness. That well-worn concept that happiness is to live like the French — cultured, elegant and eating daily pain au chocolat that magically never reaches your thighs.

However, just as fairy tales tell an idealized story of love, the image of Paris pushed by brands and Instagrammers is a privileged, airbrushed version of French life. These selective, carefree portrayals are not what the vast majority of Parisians experience. Remember all those young women who moved to New York thinking their lives would be like “Sex and the City”? Well, moving to Paris also tends to be a mixed bag. Arriving blinded by glittering Eiffel Tower lights doesn’t do you any favors.

Think about it — if all it took to live a postcard life was to move to Paris, everyone and their mother would move here and stay forever.

It is absolutely true that since moving here I’ve had flashes of la belle vie — I’ve even posted many of them on Instagram! But my normal days also consist of the same elements they did back in the United States: spending a lot of time at the office, dealing with creeps on the metro, and wiping up last night’s baguette crumbs.

But no one moves to France for the fantasy of cleaning up baguette crumbs. That doesn’t sell purses, perfume and Eiffel Tower prints. And it makes sense for brands and Instagrammers to sell you a privileged French life — that’s the story people want to see. The problem occurs when expectations of Paris don’t come with a reality check.

The idea that moving to Paris will give you a perfect life can be harmful. In a message exchange I had with a fellow expat reader, she compared the cliché image of Paris to an advertisement in a glossy magazine. You see this beautiful photo of a perfect woman and her perfect life evidently provided by whatever product she is holding. What you don’t see is the team of stylists, makeup artists, photographers, lighting experts, airbrushers, and more that went into creating that one image.

Selling the beautiful French life (or the beautiful French expat life) on Instagram also includes a lot of brands and money and people behind the scenes making it look real. And they do a good job of it! The “I moved to Paris and now I live in a dream of pretty dresses, wine and parties” accounts tap into the desire all of us have to escape, to be mysterious and adventurous, to have romance. The reader said she wished she understood this better before moving to Paris — it would have saved her some disappointment. (The extreme version of this is the Paris Syndrome, in which the reality of Paris is such a break from someone’s expectations that they have a mental crisis.)

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with these fairy tale Instagram accounts or the similar media portrayals — people want an escape, people want to dream, we all love pretty things! I followed many of these accounts before I moved to Paris and I still do. But these (mostly) women are telling a story just like a movie, often with money and manpower behind the scenes making it happen. For almost all of us who move here, that life is untouchable.

Your real life in Paris may also be full of beauty and delicious food and vespa rides, but there won’t be a team of marketers behind you. You’ll be navigating the immigration process on your own, riding the bus with us regular folks, and will have to find your own magic in this beautiful city. Better to know before your pieds are standing on French soil that the Parisian life you’re sold on Instagram is a in fact beautiful product — Paris.

How did your expectations of moving to Paris line up with the reality? Leave a comment and share your experience!

Rosie McCarthy of “Not Even French“ — New Zealander, moved to Paris in 2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Rosie ? Not Even French (@_notevenfrench) on Feb 27, 2019 at 12:00am PST

“A big lesson learned for me coming to Paris is that I should have taken the time to learn the oh-so-common mistakes that one can make in French and can be extremely embarrassing in the wrong context! I have mistakenly told people several times how horny I was feeling (je suis chaude instead of j’ai chaud). When trying to tell a colleague that she was great at something, I accidentally told her that she was good in bed (wow tu es bonne! instead of tu es forte/douée) and, whilst crunching away on an apple, I have even asked my Frenchie if he wanted a penis (tu veux une bite?) in front of a group of friends I was meeting for the first time!

Another huge lesson is that “non” does not always mean “non” and sometimes you need to fight for what you want. When I first arrived, I would begrudgingly accept that the postal workers at La Poste couldn’t possibly find my birthday package that my Mum sent over (even though the tracking number said it was there). Now, I will happily show up as assertively as possible and keep pushing until I hear the “ce n’est pas possible” turn to “ce n’est pas moi qui decide” and then the winning “je vais voir ce qu’on peut faire.” Resilience is everything here!”

Lindsey Tramuta of “Lost in Cheeseland” and author of “The New Paris” — American, moved to Paris in 2006

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Lindsey Tramuta (@lostncheeseland) on Nov 7, 2018 at 9:00am PST

“I think the most important lesson I learned, and quite quickly, was that it wasn’t up to Parisians to adapt to me but for me to adapt to them and the nuances of living in Paris. I was very young and naive like many Americans who travel abroad and become convinced that a lack of convenience in daily life  — short shop hours, unavailability of some products, busy supermarkets with one cashier working, delivery services— was a symbol of an inefficient and laggard culture. Now it’s clear that America prides gratuitous convenience above all else (late capitalism! Make money whenever and however you can!) and the few lingering inefficiencies in Paris exemplify its humanity. Betterment comes in different forms and it isn’t from having stores open 24 hours a day.”

Erin Ogunkeye, American, lived in Paris during college and moved permanently in 2013

“I gradually learned about the relative inflexibility of the job market here compared to the United States. Back home, I think people are less limited by their studies than they are here in France. In France, if you study journalism, it’s to work as a journalist. If you study law, it’s to be a jurist or a lawyer…and so on and so forth. In the US, I’d always been told to choose my major based on my interest and passions, and that job opportunities would work themselves out naturally. Here, that’s not really the case. It’s relatively difficult to find a career outside of the subjects you studied in school.

Another major misconception I had relates specifically to being an African-American expat. I moved here with the assumption – perhaps the myth – that France was much more advanced in terms of race relations and openness to discussing them than the US. The reality of course is much more nuanced. And for people for whom this is important, it’s difficult to find black doctors, dermatologists, hair dressers, or other professionals of color.”

Sara Lieberman — American writer, moved to Paris in 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Sara Lieberman (@saraglieberman) on Jan 9, 2019 at 10:50am PST

“As a single women, who upon visiting Paris as a tourist had lots of luck-in-lust, I was surprised to find how difficult it’d be to actually date for real here. Forget the language barrier and generational/societal change in dating tactics (Tinder/Happn/Bumble, etc.)—the real challenge came from trying to decode the French Man’s Intentions. For starters—and this is something I mentioned in an article I wrote for The Cut—they will sooner suggest you meet at the metro than a specific bar. And then, on the complete opposite end, they might suggest you go to their house for dinner or a drink. The former isn’t considered lazy and the latter isn’t considered aggressive. It just is.

You know what else is “normal”? Becoming an item as soon as they kiss you, which can happen without any warning signs or feelings after only one or two dates (metro meet-up, bar rendez-vous, home-cooked meal—whatever!). Unfortunately, I haven’t dated a French man long enough (yet) to go much deeper—and the jury’s still out on if I ever will!—but I definitely realized dating is just as hard wherever in the world you are and learning to accept the “why” is all part of the charm.”

Fraser Jackson — British, moved to Paris in 2013

“Moving to Paris, especially as a single person who doesn’t know anyone already, can be a very stressful situation. Trying to meet new people can be tough, especially if you don’t really speak the language. It’s therefore very easy to fall into the typical ‘expat’ trap of panicking and becoming an English tutor or working in bar. If this happens and it isn’t what you want to do, go with it. Build yourself a network of friends and then focus on getting that dream job.

But the biggest thing I learned in Paris? Always value the luxury that is a private bathroom INSIDE your apartment.”

Lamis — International Affairs Consultant, moved to Paris in 2013

“I remember having this idea that Paris would be an easy place to make friends and to have a big social life where you have a group of friends to enjoy Parisian cafes with. But I ended up having so many expat friends, and after six years I have only two French friends I met in Paris and they are very international since they both lived abroad.

One last thing I wish I knew before moving here is that not all baguettes are equal — what you are looking for is a baguette tradition!”

Rachel — American, moved to Paris in 2004

“What was really hard for me in my first few years here was making friendships with French women. Forming these relationships is very different than with American women, who are more open. French women can come off as cold sometimes, but they are just more reserved and don’t let their guards down easily.

One of my best friends now found me too American when she first met me, and it took a long time of slowly developing our friendship to get to the point where we are now. Don’t be too enthusiastic at first and expect friendships to click and become super close super fast the way they can with Americans where you are sharing and confiding quickly. I would say it takes five years for someone to consider you a close, intimate friend here. I still operate differently in my friendships with French girlfriends than I do with my American friends.”

Frank Adrian Barron aka “Cake Boy Paris” — American, moved to Paris in 2011

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Frank Adrian Barron (@cakeboyparis) on Feb 19, 2019 at 4:58am PST

“I’d say my personal biggest misconception about moving to Paris was that it would merely be a short-term experience! We have just celebrated our 8 year “Paris-versary” and that’s because Paris spoils its inhabitants with beauty and lots of butter!”

Alison Sargent — American, moved to Paris in 2013

“Don’t take it personally if people speak to you in English. I used to be really sensitive about people switching into English the moment they sensed my accent or learned I was American. It felt like both an insult to my French and a reminder that I was an outsider. But once I’d lived in Paris for several years and it STILL happened from time to time, I came to realize that when people speak English to foreigners who speak French it almost always has more to do with them. Sometimes they want to show off, sometimes it’s a power play, and sometimes they’re just genuinely trying to connect. (And sometimes they themselves come from countries like Afghanistan or Sri Lanka where they speak more English than French!) It can still feel agitating, but know that it happens to all of us and it’s not necessarily a commentary on your French or your right to call Paris home. 

And on a practical note, never use the numbers for locksmiths or plumbers listed on the fliers that will get put in your mailbox! Scam home repair services are a big problem.”

Now that you’ve heard from my friends, I’ll share my own advice!

Charli James of “Am I French Yet?” — American, moved to Paris in 2017

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Charli James (@charliannejames) on Jun 6, 2019 at 4:55am PDT

I always tell people that it is so important to manage expectations when moving to Paris — for how quick your adjustment and language process will be, and for what life in Paris will really be like. If you go in thinking it will all be baguettes and wine on the terrace, and you’ll speak French fluently in three months, you are setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment. But if you start with the understanding that there will be really difficult days in addition to the wonderful ones, you will be more emotionally prepared and the tough moments won’t sting as much.

I thought I had prepared myself enough, and that living in NYC had made me resilient to pretty much anything Paris could throw at me. But I still have days I cry because I couldn’t properly express myself in French, or I miss my friends back in the States. It gets easier after the first year and I’ve learned to not take the mistakes so much to heart. It is true that Paris is worth it and I wouldn’t change my decision to move here, but the city doesn’t always make the process easy on you.

If you’re looking for more advice on adjusting to life in France, I have many more tips here: Expat Spouse Integration: Successfully adjust abroad with your partner

Share your biggest Paris lesson learned in the comments below!

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But you still have to adjust to a foreign land, create a new life and integrate into a society unlike what you’re used to. Not an easy task.

When I first moved to Paris, I thought I had mentally prepared for these challenges. I’d been honest with myself that the adjustment wasn’t going to be all fun and games. But there are certain things in life you can’t really grasp until you’re in the thick of it.

A year and a half in, I’m still learning something new everyday. But I have a firm understanding of what I did right before boarding the plane for France, and what else I wish I had known.

Have a serious talk with your partner about the level of support you will need

In the excitement of moving, its easy to get caught up in the daydreams of walking along the Seine, hand-in-hand with your spouse as the Eiffel tower twinkles in the distance. You’re not thinking about what happens when you can’t find a job or you try to exchange something at Monoprix and the process goes awry and you cry in the store (I speak from experience).

These are also the moments that will make up your new expat life. Doing an assessment of where you will need help and how you are going to handle it as a team is a must. Some questions to discuss:

• How much help will I need with the language? Will I be able to get through day-to-day life alone? Do visa or employment paperwork alone? Work in the language? Are you prepared to help me with all that if needed?
• How much support will I need financially? How will the balance of our financial responsibility change once we are there? How long could I potentially go without working? Will I be making less money?
• How much of a social support system will I have? Do I have my own friends or family there? How much are we going to see your family? How often will we travel back to my home country?
• How much emotional support will I need? Will my level of independence be much different there? How could that balance of power change our relationship?

Give yourself a timeline

Set an amount of time you are going to stick it out no matter how hard it gets. I told myself (and my husband) I was committing to 2-3 years and if after that I still didn’t like it, or couldn’t build a life, we could broach the subject of moving back. I knew from moving to NYC in my 20s that it takes years to really feel like you live in a city. So I wasn’t going to make an assessment until I had given it enough time to really know Paris.

The purpose of this commitment is two-fold. First, there will be many times, especially in the first year, that you will want to give up. Where it all feels too hard. Where it feels like you will never learn the language. Where it feels like the loneliness is unbearable. In those moments, booking yourself a one-way ticket home and saying au revoir to all that will be immensely tempting.

The second is that if you have in your head that you can or will leave, you’re not going to give it the same effort as if you’ve committed to this being your life for at least the near future. You won’t work as hard to make friends, or learn the language or even learn your way around the city. If you go into it believing you have an escape hatch, you will reach for the emergency brake instead of pushing through the hard times.

Understand it is a lot of hard work and be ready

Time for a come to Jesus moment with yourself. Moving abroad is not all ponies and unicorns. It will change you, it will change your relationship, and it will be a lot of hard work. The sooner you get the fantasy of wine on terraces all day out of your head, the better.

The idea many people have about life in France can make you feel guilty if the reality isn’t a dream. Friends back home will tell you you are so lucky to live here (true!), but therefore may not be receptive to hearing about your struggles.

For a better idea of what to expect, I recommend reading up a bit on French culture, history and the intricacies of the language — as well as the tales of expats who came before you. Here is a list of books I read before moving.

I don’t regret moving to Paris at all, but immigrating and adjusting hasn’t been easy. The amount of payoff you get is directly related to how much work you put in. If you don’t put in the effort, you will fail to integrate, period.

After you move into your new home, unpack, and memorize your own telephone number in French (took me longer than it should have) — the work of building your new life and identity begins.

Don’t rely on your partner for your entire social life

Most expat husbands and wives find it is important to their happiness that they don’t feel completely dependent on their partner. This requires putting yourself out there, and getting yourself out of the house a lot.

If you have even remote connections in your new country, use them. I found that when I announced I was moving to France, friends and acquaintances happily offered to connect me with anyone they knew here. It can feel awkward to have to meet so many people, many of whom you won’t “click” with, but there is no shortcut to making friends.

Other ways to meet people:

• There are a ton of resources online — from MeetUp events to Facebook groups for expats based on country of origin, interests or reason you’re in the country (such as for au pairs or spouse groups).
• In Paris, there are dozens of organizations that cater to expats — from theater groups to libraries to church groups to sports clubs.
• Try getting involved in a hobby you had in your new country. Become a regular at a yoga studio, sign up for an art class or another activity you loved back home that could attract like-minded people.

Even if you participate with your partner, it will feel good to be leading rather than following their plans. It’s also okay if your personal social life is in your comfort zone. While I do speak French with my husband’s friends and family, my personal social circle is almost entirely in English.

Give your days structure

Be disciplined about getting out of the house, studying and looking for opportunities to meet people. Get out of the normal touristy bubble and learn about local events you can add to your calendar. You will learn very little about your new home by sitting on your couch, as tempting as it is sometimes.

If you don’t have a job yet, I recommend using language school as a way to give yourself a set schedule. This worked great for me.

If you are searching for a job, be open-minded and get creative about the opportunities you look for. Dedicate time everyday to searching, applying and building a network. For more tips on finding English-language work in France, check out this article.

Language, language, language

It may seem obvious, but still needs to be said: Make learning the language a priority. If you can afford to and need to, take a few months when you arrive to dedicate to language courses and giving yourself time to learn your new environment. Classes don’t have to break the bank, and this can give you some adjustment time.

For those of us living in our foreign spouses’ homeland, the language is integral to connecting with your partner’s family and friends and becoming more independent. Personally I don’t enjoy the process of learning French much, and feel dumb much of the time, but the change it makes in your quality of life is immense.

Avoid playing the comparison game

The guy you read about who was “fluent” in three months. The woman who created a blog and now makes a living off her Instagram account. The friend-of-a-friend who landed a job in a week. These stories aren’t the reality for the vast majority of people who move to another country, so try not to use them as a yardstick.

Part of moving is figuring out who YOU are in this new environment. You may not have the job, family, friends and social structure you had back at home — and it can be hard to know yourself without all that. Focus on learning what works for you, not comparing yourself to others (who probably aren’t sharing all their struggles).

Don’t take it personally and move forward

Cultural differences will sometimes make you feel like people are being rude, when in fact they are just being French. There will be times when you feel like an alien because your normal ways of communicating don’t translate. Try not to take it to heart (easier said than done, I know).

You live in France, and you’re going to have to adjust to the way things are done here — the country is not going to change for you. So the sooner you accept that and learn how to deal with it, the better your life will become. You can spend all day comparing how things were done back in your country — but deciphering the culture and moving forward will be more productive.

Don’t forget to enjoy yourself

In the whirlwind of setting up your life, the pressure can feel overwhelming. Remember to still take time to do things you love, discover new places and take care of yourself.

Find the parts of the culture that really interest you and do a deep dive — maybe it is the language, food, regional differences, design or history. Or just give yourself a “day off” every once in a while to take a break from learning and treat yourself.

When you’re in the day-to-day struggle of building a new life, it can be hard to accurately assess your progress. Sometimes I beat myself up about my language skills, the number of friends I’ve made, or how I don’t know the names of the streets in my own neighborhood. But when I compare my life now to when I arrived, or even six months ago, I feel proud of myself.

Every few months (or whenever you’re feeling discouraged), check back in on some of the milestones you’ve hit with language, social life, work and learning about France.

Set goals, but don’t judge yourself too harshly if you don’t hit all of them exactly on time. The reality is, it will likely take you longer than you expect to adjust to your new country. Give yourself time to make it work, and cut yourself some slack.

Integration and adjustment must be measured in months and years, not days and weeks. By having realistic expectations, you and your relationship will be more likely to succeed. And of course, each person’s process is different, so please leave a comment and share what worked for you if you have additional advice!

Did this guide help you?

5. Be Flexible

Unless you are transferring within your company from home, there is a good chance you will have to take a step backwards or into an position that isn’t your ideal. The advice I’ve heard from other expats who made this jump is to take the first job you can in order to get French experience, make connections and learn the French work culture. It may not be your favorite job ever, but it will help you get a better one.

Also, the younger you are and less experience you have the harder this process will be because France’s youth unemployment is high. If you are entry-level, consider taking an internship (stage) in order to gain experience and learn the French ropes.

6. Build a French Network

I had spent ten years working in NYC, but my established professional network couldn’t help me much once I was in Paris. So I started attending expat and journalism-related events in order to meet others who could perhaps help me get my foot in the door. Meet as many people face-to-face as you can in your industry, or even just making connections with expats who may know others in your profession.

7. Join Expat Facebook Groups

A great way to find events is to join Facebook groups specifically for expats and industry professionals in your city. Some groups allow members to post job opportunities as well. Here are some to start with, but be sure to search for ones specific to your situation too:

• Americans in France
• American Expats in Paris
• Expats Living in Paris
• Expat Life in France
• British & Irish expats in Paris
• Married to a Frenchman (for us expat wives)

While you’re at it, join the Am I French Yet? Facebook group for updates on expat life in France!

8. Translate Your Resume and Experience

Translate your resume into French, or at least add the French equivalents for job titles so recruiters have a better idea of how your experience from back home lines up in France. For example a manager is a directeur/directrice and a communications officer would be a chargé de communications.

But be clear about your French level on your resume — to not do so is setting yourself up for embarrassment during the interview process and could hurt your chances for future opportunities at the company.

For regulated professions, you need to get an equivalency certification that is recognized in France through the CIEP. You may be required to take additional courses to practice in France. In some cases your degrees or experience may not be recognized at all, which is extremely frustrating.

9. Start early, have patience and keep your chin up

It takes longer to land a job in France than in America because of the economy and the labor laws that make companies more careful about hiring. It isn’t abnormal for it to take a native-speaker six months to a year to land a position, and you’re fishing in a much smaller pond. So start as soon as you can, have a plan for your finances and try not to get frustrated (easier said than done, I know). The waiting game is difficult and involves a lot of rejection. Spend the time throwing yourself into learning French — it will give your day structure, and help you out whenever you do land that job.

Did this article help you with your job hunt? Please consider helping to keep this blog going by making a donation.

In order to seamlessly transfer from a VLS-TS to a multi-year carte de séjour, you have to secure an appointment months in advance, order documents many weeks ahead of time and develop some serious organizational skills.

I’ll be honest — it is a stressful process. And if your French isn’t excellent, you will need the help of your partner or a friend or a professional. My French is currently intermediate, so my husband was a huge help.

This is a detailed account of my personal experience in May/June 2018 as an American spouse of a French national living in Paris. We got married in the U.S., had the marriage certified through the consulate, then moved to France a year later. The requirements for your carte de séjour application depend on your circumstances and where you are from — so make sure you have the correct information for your situation.

REQUIRED ACTIONS BEFORE YOUR APPOINTMENT

To apply as a spouse, you must have completed your OFII meeting and medical appointment to have a VLS-TS (visa long séjour valant titre de séjour) before you are eligible for the carte de séjour. You need several documents from these meetings including your integration contract, and medical check and language test certifications.

You also need to have completed your two-day La Formation Civique integration course before your appointment. You will be required to show the certificates proving you completed the two modules.

MAKING THE APPOINTMENT

At my OFII meeting, I was told to make an appointment with the Paris préfecture de police 4-5 months before my visa expires. I would recommend looking for an appointment as early as possible. As the spouse of a French citizen, you will be applying using the “vie privée et familiale” category.

Direct link to find an appointment: Renouvellement du titre de séjour

Note: The “N° de votre titre de séjour” asked for on the appointment form is the N°AGDREF on your VLS-TS.

I recommend taking the earliest appointment possible in the morning because the wait can be hours and hours long in the afternoon, and there is a chance you could not be seen at all.

Q: What if I can’t get an appointment before my VLS-TS expires?

My VLS-TS expired in June and I first applied for an appointment in January. But in Paris the first available appointment wasn’t until after my visa expired. Here’s what we did: We called the Paris prefecture (3430 from within France) and explained that our appointment was after the expiration date. The operator looked up availability in the system and found one in May. We then had to go back on the website and cancel my old appointment before searching again and booking the new one. This is risky because it is possible someone else could have gotten the appointment before we booked it, but this is how we got an earlier appointment.

If you can’t get your carte de séjour appointment before your VLS-TS expires, you will have to apply for a récépissé (a receipt that proves you are in the process of renewing your visa) that allows you to stay until you get your carte. If your appointment is near your expiration date, you will be given a récépissé at your appointment to keep you legal until your carte is ready.

WHAT TO BRING

Welcome to the most difficult and frustrating part of this process. My biggest piece of advice is to bring as much documentation as possible. Anything and everything you have that could possibly be of interest to them. Because they can and will ask for things not on the official list. French bureaucracy at its finest.

The French Interior Ministry has a list of documents (updated 2018) and the police prefecture also has a list of documents (updated 2015) to bring. But at my appointment, the agent asked for more than what was on these lists and we ended up having to run and make copies of items.

Below is everything we brought to the appointment.

***VERY IMPORTANT: Bring the original AND a photocopy of everything***

OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS

• Appointment Convocation
  
• Titre de séjour (VLS-TS in your passport)
  
• Valid Passport (photocopy of information page AND page with entry stamp into France)
• Birth Certificate with Apostille* — less than three months old and translated by a sworn translator (here is a list of translators from the U.S. embassy). Note: I’ve seen some people say they used a birth certificate less than six months old and it was fine. I ordered a newer one to be safe, but if this is an issue for you, call your local prefecture to see what they will accept.
  
• Livret de Famille (copy of page with your information on it)
  
• Reprint of your French marriage certificate (must be less than three months old — ORDER HERE)
• Your spouse’s national ID card

*An apostille is a specialized certificate issued by the Secretary of State that verifies the birth certificate is legitimate for international use. I had to call and ask for the apostille specifically from my state of birth when I ordered my birth certificate.

PROOF YOU ARE LIVING IN FRANCE

Must have your name and/or your spouse’s name on it.

• Utility bills, no more than three months old — the official form says this can be electricity (EDF), gas, landline phone or internet, but our agent would only take the EDF bills. I would bring as many of these as you have.
  
• Housing lease or deed
  • OR attestation from your housing host saying you live there, along with a copy of their ID and a lease/deed/utility bill with their name on it. (Note: If your spouse owns your home, they can’t write an attestation that you live there.)
    

This section seems very subjective. We also brought insurance documents, bank statements, and pay stubs with my name and address on them, but they wouldn’t accept those. The agent also asked for tax receipts with my name on it which we didn’t have because I hadn’t lived in France for a year. Luckily the EDF bills were enough.

INTEGRATION DOCUMENTS (from your OFII appointments)

• Attestation de formation civique + session d’information “vivre et accéder à l’emploi en France” (completion certificates from your two French civics modules)
• Formation linguistique (the document saying you passed the language exam at your OFII meeting) — I also brought additional certificates from language schools I attended but this is not required.
• OFII medical examination certificate (from your medical appointment)
• Contrat d’intégration républicaine (or CIR) — the integration contract you signed at your OFII appointment.

PHOTOS

• 3 ID photos (format 35 mm x 45 mm) — I had mine taken in one of those photo booths in the metro.

PROOF THAT YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE LIVE TOGETHER

• Declaration swearing you live together (Déclaration sur l’honneur conjointe du couple attestant de leur vie commune) — this is done at the appointment, they will give you a form there to both sign.
• Joint French tax statement (must have been submitted in last three months)
  • OR at least the last three months of joint bank statements (this is what we used) or separate bank statements being delivered to the same address.

PAYMENT

My cost for this visa was 269€ (droit de timbre de 19€ + taxe de 250€) — but if you are in a different category of applicant, check what your fee is. You don’t have to show proof of payment until you go to pick up your carte later.

You must pay using timbres fiscaux ordinaires, which you can buy via this link. Be sure to print the stamps with the QR code.

ADDITIONAL DOCUMENTS I RECOMMEND BRINGING

While not technically required, I would recommend taking the following information if you have it, because it seems they can ask for anything they want: Your employment contract or several months of pay slips (if you are employed in France), proof of your Securité Sociale health coverage (carte de vitale), any and every French document you have that has your name on it. If you have children, you will also need to bring documents related to them as well.

Don’t forget to bring photocopies of everything, because they keep the copies!

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WHAT HAPPENS AT THE APPOINTMENT

Great news for those of you who have been through the visa and OFII process already — unlike at those meetings, you can bring your spouse to this appointment. In fact, they have to be there to attest that you two live together.

First tip: GO EARLY. I arrived 30 minutes before opening time, and the line was 75 people deep already.

At the Paris prefecture, you will wait in line, then go through security before heading to the room indicated on your convocation. The first person at the desk will check your convocation and your documents before even letting you have a number. Once you get a number, depending on your spot on the list, prepare to wait.

Second tip: Have your documents well organized. This will save you time and get you out of there quicker.

Third tip: Bring a snack because you could wait for hours depending how many people are in front of you.

Once you are called to a window, you will be asked for all the necessary documentation one by one. Our agent was very no nonsense, and seemed to appreciate that we were organized. But despite our hours and hours of preparation, we still were missing a couple of things that weren’t on the official lists.

Luckily at the Paris prefecture, you are able to email documents to the agent from your phone, and there is also a room where you can make copies. BRING COINS in case you need to use these machines.

If you are missing just a couple of documents, it is still possible that they will start the application for you and you will be required to mail in the missing pieces. However, this will result in delays, so it is highly preferable to complete your application at the meeting. I’ve also heard of cases where applications were completely denied and people sent home if they were missing a big piece of the application, or if a necessary document was more than three months old.

If your application is accepted, you will be given a récépissé valid for a few months that acts as a bridge between your expired VLS-TS and your carte de sejour. This way you can still travel and work while waiting for your carte to arrive.

PICKING UP THE CARTE

You will be notified by text message when your carte de sejour is ready for pick up, and given a time and date to come get it. It took me about three weeks to get the text message and then my pick-up time was two-and-a-half weeks after that. If you don’t receive this within a month of your récépissé expiring, call the prefecture to make sure nothing is wrong.

I ignored the time on the appointment and went early and it wasn’t a problem. The wait time was much shorter than the original appointment, and the whole thing took only about thirty minutes.

You check in at the “Salle des Remise des Titres,” are given a number, and wait for your turn. When called, you have to give the agent your récépissé, the payment (timbres or proof you paid for them online) and you will sign some papers. Also bring your passport and the collection paper given to you at your first appointment.

Et voilà! I left with a two-year carte de séjour and can once again be immigration worry free — or at least until 2020!

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I write mainly about the immigration process for American spouses of French citizens — but eligibility for securité sociale health benefits no longer relies on being married to a French person (this status used to be called “Ayant Droit“).

Starting January 1, 2016 France put in place a universal system of healthcare called Protection Universelle Maladie (or PUMA) for anyone who works or lives in France. Now everyone who is here for three months or longer and has a proper visa can get a carte Vitale. So I requested my securité sociale benefits as a resident and not as my French husband’s wife. Here’s how I did it.

BEFORE WE START

A few helpful things to know before beginning this process:

• Sécurité Sociale is the French healthcare system and your numero de sécurité sociale is your ID number only for the healthcare system. (Not to be confused with how your American social security number is used.) You’ll use this at the doctor’s office, dentist, when buying glasses and for other health-related expenses.
• Carte Vitale is a physical card with a chip in it that you use to pay and identify yourself for healthcare. It has your photo on it as well.
• This whole process is in French, so if your language skills aren’t good, you’ll likely need someone to help you — either your partner, a good friend or someone you hire.
• Ameli.fr is the website portal for the French health insurance program.
• CPAM stands for Caisse Primaire d’Assurances Maladie, and is the local department level of the national health insurance adminstration.
• Unless you are already working in France, you’ll need to live here for three months to establish residency before you apply.
• You need a French bank account in your name. It is possible to get a sécurité sociale number without one, but you can’t get paid back without one so there’s no point.
• If you have a job, your company HR department can also likely help you with this process.

THE APPLICATION FORM

First step is to fill out the health benefits application form – formulaires 736 Demande d’ouverture des droits à l’assurance maladie.

Let’s go over each section.

• The second point asks for your sécurité sociale number, if you have one. You obviously don’t since you’re reading this article, so leave it blank. This form is used for everyone applying for PUMA including people who may already have a number but are changing their status.
• The third point asks if you have a numero d’allocataire, which is another ID number used for social welfare benefits. You probably don’t have this — just leave it blank.

SECTION B: Your employment status
If you have a job, check the first box and put your title and type of contract. If not, check “sans activité” and move on.

SECTION C: Swearing you filled out your own form
Date and sign (as long as it’s actually you of course). Don’t forget order for dates is DD/MM/YYYY here in Europe.

***TIP: If you don’t have a printer, you can go to a CPAM information point (borne multiservices) and print there.

SUPPORTING DOCUMENTS

You need to send a number of documents along with the application form. You can find all the details in French on the second page of the application form, but here it is in plain English:

• A copy of your passport
• A copy of your visa long séjour valant comme titre de séjour (VLS-TS) — or titre de séjour or carte de séjour or carte de résident depending on what status you have.
• Birth certificate with apostille. The added apostille means it is certified or authenticated, and this was an extra I had to ask for specifically when I ordered my birth certificate. We did not get the birth certificate translated, we sent it in English. I’ve read that sometimes they ask for a translation later, but they didn’t for me. I also believe they sent it back to us after.
• If you have a job, you need to send a copy of your employment contract or last payslip.
• Proof you have lived in France more than three months. This could be a copy of your lease, or three successive energy, phone, internet or water bills in your name, or an attestation d’hébergement from your spouse (or whoever owns the home you live in) saying you live with them. I used the attestation since I didn’t have a job at the time and none of the bills were in my name. If you go that route, also send in a lease or three successive bills in your spouse’s name, as well as a copy of their ID to be safe.
• Your relevé d’identité bancaire (RIB) so you can get reimbursed. This is your French banking account routing information and should include the IBAN number.

***TIP: If you have questions, contact your LOCAL caisse (department office) that handles where you live (mine is Caisse d’assurance maladie de Paris). If you call the global number it charges you by the minute. There is an international number also if you aren’t in France.

WHERE TO SEND IT

You have to mail all of these documents in, it is not possible to do it via email. It is also possible to apply in person at your local CPAM office.

If you go the mail route, you must send everything to your LOCAL CPAM office. Click here and then put your zip code into the pop up to find yours.

If you live in Paris, this is the address: Assurance Maladie de Paris, 75948 PARIS CEDEX 19

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TIMING

You can expect to receive a temporary number first and relatively quickly — mine came in three weeks. You can use this immediately to get reimbursements, but you will have pay in advance and do everything manually on paper (using une feuille de soins). You can not set up a personal Ameli account with this number.

2-6 months after applying you can expect to receive your permanent number. I got mine about 3.5 months later. Now you can open an Ameli account and request your physical carte Vitale.

NOTE: I have heard that you will get a number quicker if you have a job because your employer sends a letter to the caisse saying you work for them and requesting the number. This could be an expat legend, but I got my permanent number just a few weeks after starting a job, so I’m inclined to believe it.

GETTING YOUR CARTE VITALE

You have two options for requesting your carte Vitale once you have a permanent number.

1. When they send you the permanent number, they will include a paper form for you to fill out, attach a photo to and send back to request your carte Vitale.
2. Open an Ameli account, then wait for your temporary access code to come in the mail (yes, they have to mail it to you). Once you have access to your account you can upload a picture for the card and request it directly in the portal.

It took me about a month to get my carte in the mail.

NOTE: Before you get your physical card you can still get reimbursed but you have to mail in a form (une feuille de soins), while with the carte Vitale it is automatic.

FINAL STEPS

You can also order a carte européenne d’assurance maladie (European health insurance card) through your Ameli account as well. This is useful for if you travel in the EU and ever get sick.

To be reimbursed the full amount possible, you’ll need to declare a médecin traitant (a.k.a. a general practitioner or primary care doctor). For helping finding one check out this article.

And finally, if you have additional health insurance (a mutuelle) through work or private coverage, you need to link that in your Amelie account as well.

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The early years of my own international relationship often involved holding our breath at JFK airport or months of separation while waiting for a new visa. Despite those stresses, my French now-husband and I wanted to get married on our “own terms.” To us, this meant not letting outside forces influence when we decided to make that leap. So we continued to hold our breath.

But after one particularly-long forced separation, it got to the point were I could no longer handle the emotional torture of not knowing when we would be together again. Instead of feeling like we were holding off on marriage for our “own terms,” it felt like the United States government was dictating our relationship.

Though we were born 4,357 miles apart, somehow we found each other. I was done being separated from my person just because our passports are different colors.

So we made the jump. Six weeks after he proposed, we got married. And what we feared would mean taking all the romance out of the experience — getting married “for papers” — was in fact the most romantic gift we could give. In our case, saying “I do” also meant giving each other love without worry.

My story is far from uncommon. My friend Rachel moved to Paris on a tourist visa 15 years ago and also ended up playing the immigration game. After being rejected for a fifth time to extend her visa, she called her French then-boyfriend-of-one-year Max in tears to tell him she couldn’t live this way anymore and was going back to the United States. “No you’re not, we’re getting married,” he replied.

“We were in love and going down that path and Max knew that marriage was something I wanted eventually,” Rachel recalled. “But the idea of not being together is what sped that up.”

They wed just the two of them, in jeans, at their city hall in Paris with plans to celebrate with family and friends at a later date.

“We did get married for me to ‘have papers’ but that’s not really why we got married. We got married to stay together,” says Rachel. “I felt in love with this man and that he loved me so much he would do anything for us to be together.”

If you don’t share a nationality, it is almost always a challenge to stay together. So when you’re an “international couple” the logistical element of the legal status of marriage carries an out-sized significance.

Saying marriage isn’t important is a convenience when you’re born in the same country. Power of attorney, medical and children’s custody rights become so much more critical when your families are oceans apart. It’s a bigger expression than just love, it’s also the commitment to take care of someone and guide them in a foreign country.

My husband and I probably wouldn’t have gotten married on the exact date we did if we were both born American, or both French. If we shared a country, we would have had the luxury of time and “our terms.”

But we also wouldn’t have had to so actively choose to be together either. We wouldn’t have had to sacrifice the unbelievable amounts of time, money and energy it took for the privilege of being able to wake up next to each other. To say that marrying “for papers” isn’t romantic is to overlook the huge gift that extending your nationality to someone is. It’s not about the papers, but the right to be in each other’s lives that those papers give you. And that is true romance.

You’ll need to navigate these inevitable workplace culture distinctions in order to to adjust to your French office and make a good impression on your coworkers. Here’s what you can expect:

1. The Cafeteria is a culture shock

When I first saw the wine in my French company cafeteria, I thought surely no one is actually drinking that. Wrong. It is perfectly normal to enjoy wine or beer with your meal at work in front of everyone. I have also never seen foie gras in an American cafeteria, but voilà it was here around Christmas.

Sometimes French culinary tastes mean you need to be careful about what you order as well. At lunch I once ordered a veau (veal) dish assuming it was just stewed meat. After one very chewy bite, I googled the rest of the dish name —rognons— to discover I was eating kidneys. After expressing surprise to a colleague, I was informed this is a normal dish commonly served to French children at school as well. Can’t imagine American kids eating veal kidneys at lunch.

2. Work-Life balance is real

It’s a phrase commonly thrown around in America, but a concept so rarely actually achieved. The French however, have work-life balance down. This is in no small part due to the government regulating work hours and the cultural importance of vacation and family time.

By law the statutory working week is 35 hours, but that doesn’t mean French people are lazy. Working overtime to meet a deadline happens, but in France productivity is more important than face time. If you have to put in extra hours, that doesn’t make you a harder worker, it means you aren’t able to get your work done as fast as you should.

French people also get five weeks minimum paid vacation time. Culturally they just have more respect for time off and don’t talk about work constantly like many Americans. That’s a change I can get behind.

3. You’re Paid Once a Month

It is normal in France to only be paid once a month, usually near the end of the month. This has been an adjustment for me since in the United States I was paid weekly or bi-weekly and I feel this made budgeting easier. Perhaps French people are all eating ramen noodles in the days before their paycheck comes through, but I’m guessing they are just better with money since they don’t have credit cards or student loans to worry about.

4. Keep your personal life private

Sure some French coworkers are also friends, but there is more of a line between personal and work life than in America. People are less likely to share details about their spouses, kids or daily updates on how the puppy’s housebreaking is going. And they’re less likely to be asking you the same.

This doesn’t mean they don’t like you, it is just the culture to not open your personal life to everyone. It is uncommon to find family photos on people’s desks, and you aren’t expected to attend your coworker’s birthday parties or baby showers.

Also, while French people love ‘la bise’ to greet each other, cheek kissing isn’t used as a greeting at work unless you are also close friends with your colleague. So be sure to shake hands as you would in America.

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5. Makeup isn’t necessary to look “professional”

In America, I rarely encountered women at work who didn’t wear makeup. French women in general wear less, but I was surprised to see how many women –including women in high-level positions– don’t wear make up on the job. How refreshing.

Don’t equate this with being informal though. French offices don’t have “casual Fridays,” and showing up in a sweatshirt and sneakers is generally a terrible idea.

6. Email isn’t constantly checked

In 2017, a French law went into effect establishing workers’ “right to disconnect.” Translation: you don’t have to check your emails after work hours. The goal is to keep employees from being overworked, protect their private time and prevent burnout. It isn’t expected that you will be glued to your email, replying anytime of day or night.

This means you shouldn’t expect an immediate response to your emails, which was something I had to get used to coming from NYC. Emails may not be checked until people actually get to the office, and that is accepted.

7. Work doesn’t define you

Ask a lot of Americans who they are and they will answer with their profession. In France, few people define their lives or themselves by their job. Work and ambition is important to many French people, but they rarely consider it their most important or interesting quality.

It’s often said that Americans live to work and French work to live. This mentality bleeds into social situations too. It is considered rude to quickly ask what someone does for a living when you meet them, and it isn’t uncommon to spend a whole evening at a party never hearing about a person’s job.

8. Time off for meals

Just as French people don’t approve of eating while in the car or walking, they appreciate taking time away from the desk to focus on meals. Sometimes this is just 20 minutes in the company cafeteria, but others it can be a leisurely two hour lunch with wine. In New York, I ate 95% of my meals at my desk huddled over my computer, as did my coworkers.

Snacks are far less prevalent in French workplaces too, as snacking isn’t really part of the culture. People don’t have drawers full of treats, nor are they munching down chips at their desk. So best to leave that American pastime for when you’re at home.

Also interesting, in France your work meals have to be subsidized. Companies are required to either have a subsidized cafeteria (cantine) or provide meal vouchers called “tickets restos.” Employers pay at least half the cost of the tickets, which are around nine bucks each, and the employee covers the rest. Many restaurants offers meals for the exact cost of the vouchers, and they can often be used at grocery stores as well.

9. Coffee and Cigarette breaks are common

While Americans tend to drink coffee as a way to keep up energy and work harder, the French are having their tiny coffees at work as a way to take a break, clear their heads for a moment and actually enjoy their drink. These frequent coffee breaks are often social opportunities too and taken in groups.

While fewer people smoke in France now than they used to, cigarette breaks are still common as well. There is less of a stigma in France with smoking, so people aren’t sneaking away like they often do in America where being a smoker is looked down upon at work. French people will openly have their lighters on their desks and take smoke breaks together.

10. Dial down the American enthusiasm a bit

Part of the collective American personality is being positive, energetic and friendly. But that overt openness can rub some people the wrong way in France. My advice would be to tone it down a little. Don’t share all the details of your life right off the bat, don’t ask personal questions, don’t invite coworkers to your house quickly and try to listen more than talk at first while you adjust to the French style of working.

In the same vein, don’t get upset or offended when your French coworkers critique your work without sugarcoating it the way we do in the United States. They aren’t being purposefully cruel. This straightforward communication is normal in France and it is not uncommon for colleagues to argue in the office in ways that would seem confrontational to many Americans. After all, the French love a debate.

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Everyone’s moving situation will be a little different — single or as a couple, budget or balling, for work or school or family or just the experience — but these are universal tips that will save you stress regardless of why you are moving to the most beautiful city in the world.

1. Get rid of as much stuff as possible

Save yourself the hassle of relocating more than you must to Paris. Use this move as an opportunity to get rid of the tons of crap you’ve been holding on to: clothes, books you will never read, knick-knacks, duplicate items, anything old or outdated. Purge, see what “sparks joy,” whatever method works for you. Trust me, they have everything you need in Paris. Except yogurt pretzels, which I miss dearly.

We went back to NYC recently and were surprised how much we still had in storage. We’ve been living six months without these boxes and didn’t miss any of it. We still have a full suitcase waiting at someone’s apartment. Don’t be like us.

2. Don’t bring your furniture

Unless very expensive, a family heirloom, or your company is covering the cost, it isn’t worth bringing your furniture. It is very expensive to ship, takes a long time to arrive and may not work in your new apartment anyway. For the money you will pay to ship your couch, you could probably just buy a new one.

3. Neighborhood matters

You find a beautiful apartment… but the neighborhood is not great or isn’t your style. My advice: Don’t take it. An acquaintance of mine did just that when she moved to Paris, renting a nice, big place with her husband near one of the major train stations in Paris. Beyond the noise, the neighborhood felt transient and none of the shop owners bothered to make connections with customers because of it. Not exactly the Paris experience she was yearning for. They moved again after just a year.

Which neighborhood is best for you depends on what stage you are at in life and what type of experience you are looking for. But make sure you get to know the area a little before signing a lease. Don’t choose an apartment based on what it looks like alone.

4. Keep your foreign banking

Yes you will want (and need) to set up a French bank account too, but do not close your foreign accounts. I still use my American credit cards to shop online, I still use my venmo account with friends and can deposit checks into my U.S. checking account using my phone. Banking is much more flexible than it used to be and you’ll be surprised how much you continue to use banking services in your home country while abroad.

5. Choose your phone plan wisely

Communication is also much easier than it used to be even four or five years ago — no need to make everyone download Whatsapp to talk anymore. But there are also some phone plans that can make your life easier. If you plan to call your home country a lot, and frequently travel home or around Europe, make sure your phone carrier is flexible too. I use the company Free Communications and can call the U.S. at no charge and data service (up to a certain limit) is free when I’ve traveled in Europe and North America.

6. Start job hunting early

I talked about my frustration with the slow-going French job search process in my Paris Dispatch #4, and I’ve heard the same thing from many others here (French and expats). It is not uncommon for it to take six months or longer to land a job in Paris, or to wait a month before hearing back about your last interview. So get started looking for jobs quickly, ideally before you even arrive.

7. French, French, French

This is obvious, but needs to be stated. Even basic French skills will greatly improve your experience living in Paris. Although you can live in Paris without speaking much French, your life will be richer and easier the more you are able to communicate with people. Make a concerted effort to study as much as possible before you come. Even getting through the beginner levels before you arrive will make a difference. I wish I had worked harder on my French before touching down, it would have saved me a few mental breakdowns.

8. Don’t try to recreate your exact life

Right after we made the decision to move to Paris, I was a bit obsessed with how I could mirror my New York City habits in my new country. What will I do without a 24 hour bodega? What will replace my go-to Chinese takeout order? Where would I get my cheap pedicures? None of these things exist in Paris, and that is okay. Six months in I am still discovering all the new treats and the lifestyle France has to offer, and I don’t miss my old routines and NYC favorites. Except yogurt pretzels.

9. Paperwork: Have it all and be organized

French bureaucracy is obsessed with paperwork. Getting your visa, getting a bank account, getting a cellphone, getting an apartment…it all involves a lot of documents and you can never have enough. Winging it won’t work. If you show up without everything you need (and sometimes things you didn’t know you needed) you will promptly be shown the door. So my advice, be meticulous about finding out what you need, getting it and keeping it all organized.

10. Get a Navigo Card

A Navigo card is an unlimited public transit card that works on all the buses, metros and commuter trains (RER) in Paris. You have to apply online, upload a photo and wait a few weeks for it to arrive so apply for it as soon as you can. If you have a French bank account you can get the annual pass which automatically recharges the card every month. If not, you can order one that you charge at metro stations (it is a little more expensive that way). I got one when I started working (many companies will cover the monthly fee) and I love how easy it makes getting around the city. No more fumbling with the tiny paper tickets, waiting in line, running out of tickets — and you can take the commuter trains outside the city all on the same card.

11. Give yourself time to adjust

I thought within three months I would be feeling comfortable in my new neighborhood/city/language. Not even close. Understand it may take a year or more to truly feel at home in Paris — making friends, getting familiar with transportation, feeling comfortable with the language, finding your favorite places. It isn’t something that happens overnight, and not putting a huge amount of pressure on yourself to adjust quickly (as I did) will make you feel better about your progress. Be kind to yourself: celebrate your gains, even little ones, and don’t beat yourself up too much about failures. It will happen, it is part of the process.

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